Recommended Reading #1: The Science of Parenting

My favorite parenting book

If you read only one book about what research implies for loving parents, Margot Sunderland's The Science of Parenting (2006) is your best bet.  Well-illustrated and clear to read, it is full of surprising findings from long-term neurological and psychological studies.

I learned that a newborn's half-baked nervous system depends on an adult's steady, calm one in the same way her immature immune system relies on a mother's milk for antibodies, which may partially account for the fact that "cultures practicing the highest cosleeping and bed-sharing rates experienced... the lowest SIDS rate of all." (Studies cited in Jackson (1999), Three in a bed: The benefits of sleeping with your baby)

I also learned that the two types of tantrums, Little Nero vs. Distress, are best treated with opposite reactions on the part of the parent.  A distress tantrum, in which a child is too distressed or sad to communicate clearly, needs to be treated gently by a parent to bolster a child's ability to process her own emotions.  A Little Nero tantrum, in which a child angrily continues to manipulate and insist that she be obeyed, is best ignored.  ADHD and sibling rivalry are also discussed.  This book's fun to read when you're pregnant and very useful for years afterward.